Have you ever felt yourself refusing to receive, pushing it away or feeling uncomfortable to receive? Do you find it easier to give and to invest in so many others around you? Don't worry, me too. Always, I needed to be the giver and I realized it was an effort to protect myself - to control outcomes so I did not end up hurt. If you set yourself up to always give then you-I cannot be let down.
All of my adult life, well up until now, I thought that I could self serve me for all of my own mental & emotional wellness. Well, that's pretty one sided, safe and does not teach me anything on how to heal from those that really let me down.
I have two coaches for my life now, yes, I finally started reaching out to receive. As an empowerment coach-artist-speaker as my career, I was draining my own self - a fortress of pushing open my doors to let me out but not letting anyone in.
I appeared to be stronger than everyone else in my life, which turned out to benefit no one when I was drowning. I was an expert at hiding my own pain. Once I cracked open to share my truth, plus lean into people I trusted, our relationships started building deep soul ties. Looking back, I seriously thought I could save the world and turn any negative experience into positive. Guess what, some people are addicted to suffering.
It's time that us givers started discovering & exploring as to why it's so hard to receive and realize if we stay stuck in this trap, we are are not going to be a whole human being. This is what I am catching myself doing:
Someone offers to help me do something and even if I don't know how to do it, I figure I can learn. But I realized that I have a long list of other things I do know how to do and at the rate I am going, nothing will really get done = procrastination.
I realized when I defer an offer for help, I am presenting myself as stronger than anyone else. My over independent nature is causing others to not get a chance to give to me, which is causing a block of bonding & letting them into my life deeper.
By giving all the time, it prevents someone else from hitting the bottom of the well, to learn how to climb up on their own, one grip at a time, so they can can stronger. Now I just coach them one finger at a time, not doing the grip for them on their challenges.
My favorite thing to do is troubleshoot. When I got the calls or conferences, while they were talking, I was strategizing how to help them get over the hurdle & achieve what they wanted. That prevented me from being a really good listener, a good interrupter & stopped them from first learning to work out of the twist on their own. Now I listen, don't talk at all & ask them lots of questions that help them tap into their own stored wisdom & offer my own story of how I struggled. I give them cues now based on what they shared because we all ready know the answers - just need a coach.
Receiving turns out to be an exceptionally vulnerable experience. As a woman, we historically are told to settle, submit and compromise....no guessing this can wear & tear us down. Historically for the male species, it was excepted to toughen up, suck it up & not share grief. But the truth is that only the best warriors & humans bellow together in pain, celebration and loss. Receiving is gift, the space to ask for someone else to hold us up while we are weakened is true love. Being able to be vulnerable with others is truly the strongest bond. Love Skye
Skye Shadow is an Artist, Empowerment Speaker & Writer. She is also an Empath, Lightworker and Mystic building a platform to empower Creative minds take the risk to share their gifts. She calls herself - The Creative Empowerist. Skye reveals the secrets on how to “Be the Artist of Your Life” by learning our own powerful energetic magic. After facing multiple life crushing tragedies, she emerged to craft life changing and mind shifting skills that dig deep to bust limiting beliefs. She teaches how to remove roadblocks by owning your powerful energy & how being vulnerable cultivates our greatest gift and life purpose.